The gift of unstructured time
We used to never have the time to do nothing.
Now we watch cars go by.
And sound out new tunes.
Hunt for backyard treasures.
And find them.
We used to never have the time to do nothing.
Now we watch cars go by.
And sound out new tunes.
Hunt for backyard treasures.
And find them.
Seeking joy is new for me. I blame it on being a Capricorn–we’re all about accomplishing things, climbing up the mountain, working hard to achieve more. Which is probably why “working” on joy is so what I need.
There are many wonderful books out there about joy and how to uncover it. But in the interest of mini-resolutions and starting small, here are the simple places I’m finding joy.
For the first time since becoming a parent, I’m getting to bed before midnight. Because there’s no way I can be the parent I want to be when I am exhausted. I have no idea why this didn’t occur to me earlier.
Back when I had a newborn and my mom stayed a month to help me, she would make my bed every morning. She makes it PERFECTLY–wrinkles in the sheets don’t stand a chance with her. Back then, taking time to make my bed seemed like a time luxury I couldn’t afford. But this is a new season, and having a beautifully made bed is a wonderful thing.
Hannah Marcotti puts it perfectly in her Making Space Cleanse:
“Making your bed is a gift from your present self to your future self.”
(Especially in place of my nightly glass of wine.) Another little step inspired by Hannah that feels like a gift to myself with every sip.
My husband works out from 10:30–noon every Saturday morning. Which was making Saturdays feel like a “6th workday” for me and the kids–leaving us all resentful and cranky. This month, I’ve started slipping out at 8am for a yoga class and coffee/writing/wandering. Carving out those 2 hours for myself has made a world of difference in how I feel the entire weekend.
I started noticing that things fell apart just after breakfast every day. I would be in the kitchen dealing with the meal aftermath and yelling “go in the playroom–I’ll be there in a minute” over and over again. Inevitably, I’d finally stop doing dishes (in a huff) once someone started crying over something.
I’m learning to look at those parts of the day that always end up with yelling and crying and trying different strategies. In this case, I’ve learned that if I leave the dishes and just sit with the boys while they do Legos or trains or whatever, no one cries or fights.
The even more amazing part is, once I give them my full attention–even if I’m just sitting with my coffee and observing them–I can usually slip off and finish the dishes or do a quick email check without anyone falling apart.
By giving them attention up front, it changes the result. And it’s teaching me that there is value in just sitting and being.
This is the root of joy.
Even if you’re not doing “preschool at home,” these are great inside activities for winter days.
Here are a few ways I kept my 2- and 3-year-olds busy this week.
When we brought these B. Pop-Arty beads to Cape Cod last summer, all of the grown ups were so all over them them that I don’t think the kids even noticed them.
My sons aren’t making necklaces out of them yet (despite my prodding), but the gorgeous colors and shapes still make them fun to play with.
Judah had lots of fun scooping them from one bowl to another…
…while Isaiah broke in his new kid chopsticks and sorted them by color.
Ahh, order.
I recycled this activity later in the week with our new gigantic bag of pom poms.
Continuing our space theme from last week, we made giant glue galaxies with black construction paper and foam “planets.”
Judah, like most toddlers, got great satisfaction out of squeezing glue.
As part of my attempts to foster independence, I didn’t once say “not too much glue!” even though it seemed to be hard-wired for me to channel kindergarten teachers around the world. (How much does glue actually cost? And if he makes a mess, so what?)
It’s also a great exercise for his little hand muscles to squeeze away like there’s no tomorrow.
And who am I to limit the size of his galaxy?