It was a tense weekend.
A bank snafu that temporarily drained our cash reserves.
A misunderstanding with a friend.
Anxiety over the unknown as Ian moves his office to Manhattan and I take over our local space.
The anniversary of the worst phone call I’ve ever received, that my father had died at age 59.
My heart felt racy and junky all weekend. Then, on Monday, just plain sad.
I crave solitude and find myself daydreaming about a cabin on the banks of the St. Lawrence River waay upstate.
But since feeling to the New York/Canada border is out of the question, I picked up Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts (which you really have to be in the mood for) and received this message:
Stress = fear
Fear = lack of trust
The antidote to stress is trust.
The antidote to fear is trust.
The way to practice trust is giving thanks.
“The only way to fight a feeling is with a feeling…We can only experience one emotion at a time. And we get to choose–which emotion do we want to feel?” –Ann Voskamp
Today, I will practice replacing fear with trust.
Today, I will practice replacing anxiety with gratitude.
I super excited to announce that I’ve launched a new company: Year of the Book. You can read all about it on my lovely new website.
But what I want to talk about here is passion.
As I’ve written about here, here, and here, last November I took my kids out of daycare and took a three month sabbatical from the company I run with my husband.
One thing I realized during my sabbatical was that I need a work project. I wish I could be one of those moms who puts all her energy into her children. I wish I could say I’ve done half the projects I’ve collected/hoarded on Pinterest. But I’ve finally accepted that I’m a better mom when I have a project I’m working on.
When the idea for my new business started emerging, it was like sucking on a delightful piece of candy throughout the day—a little treat in the back of my head I could daydream about or sketch out on park benches while the kids play.
When I don’t have that, I get itchy. Unsettled. Impatient. Ungrounded.
I created space, and something new emerged…
I am well aware of how blessed I am, how indulgent it was, to be able to take three months off to clear my head. That space is what allowed me to begin dreaming again. It was the best time I ever had not shopping! (Since I felt like spending unnecessarily really wasn’t in our family’s best interest while I wasn’t working.)
And I knew I was on to something when I started listening to podcasts in the kitchen while I was making dinner.
That’s the kind of passion I’m used to having in my work life, and that frankly I’ve lost touch with since I became a mom.
…And slowly came into focus
Earlier this year, I started doing some serious passion hunting.
I worked in small virtual groups of women online through Hannah Marcotti’s wonderful programs.
I joined the Mamacoach circle, which is an online group for holistic coaches. I still remember my introduction, which went something like, “I’m not sure why I’m here since I’m not a health professional or a coach. But I finally signed up because I’m dying to hear all these recorded calls you guys are doing.”
I focused all of my reading and online time in the words and company of people who are pursuing their passions. (Links to come.)
And I participated in an amazingly powerful exercise by Visionary Mom Lisa Work. Really — I can’t tell you how powerful this recording was for me. By the end of her teleconference, I knew exactly what my business would be. In fact, I listened to the call twice — the first time trying to fit what I thought my passion “should” be into my answers. And the second time with my true passion. It’s amazing how my answers flowed out of me the second time around. **I’ve contacted Lisa to see if I can share access to that recorded call–stay tuned**
UPDATE: Here’s the link:
Thanks Lisa for sharing it with us!
So how about you?
I wanted to share all of this with you because doing this passion seeking has changed my life. And if I can help you in any way, by recommending resources or just listening to your dreams and encouraging you, then please comment or send me an email.
I’ve been through the ringer the past few years. I’ve struggled like hell with postpartum depression and anxiety, and trying to figure out how to balance it all, and trying to figure out who I am and what my purpose is besides being a mother to two beautiful boys.
The color is back in my face. And that’s what I wish for you, too.
P.S. If you or someone you know are interested in how working with a book coach helps you reach your goals with clarity, focus, and meaning, please visit my website.
P.P.S. If you have found amazing resources that helped you find your path, tell us about them in the comments!
We used to never have the time to do nothing.
Now we watch cars go by.
And sound out new tunes.
Hunt for backyard treasures.
And find them.