Advice (Unsolicited)

I’ve been back to work for a couple of months now, but things got kicked up a notch last week when I started a consulting project in-house with a client. This means my husband Ian and I are both commuting to NYC.

I’ve never been much of a clock-watching scheduler, but I do believe in the power of routine—doing things in the same order so everyone can do them on autopilot.

Here’s how we run our mornings with 4 under 6.


  • Get up (our 12-month-old twins have most likely been complaining in their cribs for 15 minutes or so)
  • Change both babies’ diapers.
  • Husband wakes up the big kids and goes downstairs to make coffee and 1 milk bottle


  • Teo drinks a bottle while Juney nurses.
  • Husband gets showered and dressed.
  • Big kids stumble into my room and start to get dressed.
  • I administer about 100 threats to the boys about getting dressed.


  • Husband sets out something for boys to eat (usually) and leaves for the train
  • I put 1 baby in an Exersaucer and the other in a Pack n Play while I take a shower


  • Big kids are usually dressed by now and playing with babies
  • They might even go downstairs by themselves to eat
  • I get dressed and put on makeup. Sometimes I bring a baby in with me while big kids play with the other baby.


  • I start getting everyone downstairs, taking one baby at a time.
  • Babies sit in their high chairs and snack on O’s while staring at their big brothers.
  • I prep my breakfast (usually a green smoothie) and get ready to drive Isaiah to school.


  • Our beloved au pair emerges from her room smiling and fresh after a full night of sleep.
  • Au pair takes over with the babies.
  • Isaiah (kindergartener) gets teeth brushed/hair brushed/shoes on.


  • Drive Isaiah to kindergarten. He gets to school a bit early so he can run around and play before sitting at his desk.
  • Once Judah completely ready for school, he can have computer time until it’s time for him to leave. If he complains when it’s time to go or gives me a hard time about getting out the door, computer time is taken away for the next morning.


  • Return home.
  • Make my smoothie and pack up my bag/computer/high-protein snack.


  • Au pair and I get the babies and Judah down the stairs and into the car.
  • They drive me to the train. Blow a million kisses to my babies.
  • Au pair will now drive Judah to preschool and take babies back home.


  • I made it. On the train platform with all the other working parents.
  • Ride the comfy, quiet train along the Hudson river until we reach the city.

how to nap for moms

How did I survive this past year with baby twins, a preschooler and a kindergartener?


(And the people who watched my children while I took said naps. Thank you Mayra and Mom!!)

“But I can’t nap,” you say.

I’m here to tell you that you can learn how to nap, even if naps have never worked for you.

How to be a power napper

1) Get the kids in a safe place.

Ideally this means into the hands of a babysitter, teenage neighbor, playdate, or if all else fails, an iPad.

When I was pregnant with my twins and still had two preschoolers at home, we had “quiet time” every day after lunch. My boys were so thrilled to be in their room alone with Netflix on the iPad, they never once came out to wake me up or get into trouble. I also have a very responsible older son I could trust to tell me if anything went awry.

But if you are concerned about snoozing with kids in the house, bring the youngest one into your room to watch a movie (while the oldest gets the iPad by himself in his room). You might even get your little one to wear headphones next to you while you sleep in peace.

2) Set the stage.

So ideally you are all alone in your room now. Your beloved room! Create a perfect napping environment by:

  • Making it cold and dark
  • Silencing all ringers.
  • Firing up your white noise machine
  • Popping in some earplugs (if your kids are with a babysitter)
  • Setting your alarm if you must
  • Blocking out all remaining light with a comfy eye mask.

My love of the eye mask emerged when I realized it’s a signal to my brain to shut off. Something about the weight over my eyes helps tell my mind it’s time to be quiet. I’m completely addicted to it now. This kind is my fave.

3) Let it go.

This is the part where you can start to stress that you’re not going to be able to sleep. Or you’ll start thinking about all the things you need to do. Or feeling guilty that you are spending money on a babysitter to sleep.

Everything can wait. And you have never spent your money more wisely. You are buying your health, and you are giving your children a much happier mother. This nap is going to help you make it through bedtime with a smile on your face. 

This is where you want to practice the breathing exercises you learned in yoga. If you need extra help shutting off your brain, try a relaxation app. (The one I’ve used doesn’t seem to be available anymore. I’ll update this if I find another one to recommend.)

4) Decide how long you want to sleep.

Sometimes I tell myself “I can sleep for one full hour” and I’ll magically wake up exactly an hour later.

Lately I can even nap for 20-30 minutes and get enough energy to get through the rest of the day reasonably well. If you are the type of person who feels groggy and hungover after you nap, first down a glass of water before you fall asleep, and then aim for a shorter nap.

Check out this infographic: How Long to Nap for the Biggest Brain Benefits.

5) Do not do anything else but breathing deeply and not thinking.

And hopefully the next thing you know, you’ll be waking up ready to move mountains.

But as I tell my non-napping friends, even if you don’t fall asleep after 20 minutes of lying in the dark not talking to anyone and breathing deeply, you’re going to feel better.


breastfeeding twins

This is the first post in a series I’ll run on breastfeeding twins. So male readers may want to sit this one out.

Hello ladies!

My boy/girl twins are 8 months old and still going strong on the boob. As someone who has now breastfed four children, I have some hard-earned tips to share.

Disclaimer: This post is not a brag about how I breastfeed twins.

My twins have received varying amounts of formula as supplementation, almost from the beginning. At times I was totally driven to make 100% of their milk. I’d think, “If only I could make 10 ounces more…” Which then became “just 20 ounces more…”  But in the end I determined that a bottle or two of formula per day was the sane thing to do.

Okay? Okay.

Now, in the spirit of helping each other out:

Here are my top tips for making f-loads of breastmilk.

1) Drink ungodly amounts of liquids.

My favorites are water with lemon, electrolyte water, Gatorade (horrible ingredients but a splurge in the name of hydration), fresh orange juice with sparkling water, and more water. A super treat is going to Elevation Burger where they have Powerade on tap. A nursing mom’s dream.

Keep water bottles stocked all over the house, and threaten anyone who drinks from them. I know we’re all trying to be environmentally conscious, but having six fresh bottles of water stocked beside my bed and beside my nursing chair is the best thing ever.

2014-01-08 14.25.17

2) Eat constantly.

The caloric needs of a breastfeeding woman are higher than a pregnant woman.

For real!

The recommendation is 500 extra calories per baby, per day. I notice a dramatic shift in my supply if I didn’t eat enough the previous day. Some nursing moms swear by oatmeal, and the web is full of recipes for “oatmeal lactation cookies.” I never went down that road, because I focused more on protein.

nursing cape cod

3) Focus on protein

In the early days, if I didn’t eaten enough protein, I’d actually get dizzy and nauseous while nursing. (This never once happened when I nursed my singletons.) It was especially bad when tandem feeding.

The drain on your reserves is no joke when you are nursing twins. If you are serious about making enough milk, you should pretty much be grazing all day long.

Favorite quick hits of protein: hard boiled eggs, greek yogurt, cheese sticks, nuts, trail mix, cottage cheese, protein shakes.

Tip: Keep a basket of snacks next to the area where you nurse most frequently. You’ll be so in love with yourself when you realize, at 3am, that you left yourself a little care package.

4) Nurse. A lot.

Even if it seems like you are completely tapped out, keep nursing. This signals the body to make more milk.

This is why I was so terrified to use formula in the early months. So when I did use formula, I’d usually spend that missed nursing session cozied up to the pump. Romantic!

If your goal is to make 100% milk for your babies, pump every single time you miss a nursing session.

How long to go between nursing sessions depends a lot on your body and how old your babies are. In the early days, you need to nurse every couple of hours.

Then it stretches out to 3-4 hours.

If you are really struggling to increase your milk supply, do not go longer than 3 hours between feedings or pumps.

5) Check baby’s latch

A good latch is super important. Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt after the first couple of minutes. If your nipple hurts while baby is nursing, something’s not right. Take him/her off and start again. If you don’t have access to a lactation consultant, there are tons of great resources on YouTube.

6) Use your pump

Pumping after a feed is another way to tell the body to make more milk.

Even now (with 8-month-old twins), I pump 2 times a day: Once in the morning after the babies feed. And again at night a couple hours after the last feed, just before I go to bed (usually around 10pm).

(Even superheroes use their pumps.)

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7) Take naps seriously.

Of course you are exhausted. And there’s no way you’re getting a good night sleep any time soon. So you need to change how you think about sleep. Sleep in spurts.

If you wake up at 6am after a brutal night, remind yourself that your babies will be back down by 10am. You only have to make it till 10am. And when 10am comes, DO NOT DO THE DISHES! Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. The more run down you are, the less milk you will make.

8) Try herbs.

I was popping Fenugreek like crazy in the first few months. Others have had luck with Mother’s Milk tea, or a combination of both.

For me, Fenugreek works quickly. I usually see an increase the day after I start taking it. I continue taking it until I feel like my supply is re-established. Then I do fine without it.

9) Think happy thoughts (and have a beer)

This must be what biofeedback is all about. When I sit down to feed, if nothing is coming out, I’ll take a deep breath or picture a waterfall. Presto magic.

Another great way to relax? Have a beer! Yes, while you nurse. It’s what my Irish lactation consultant taught me, and I trust her completely. (Notice I said “a” beer.”)

2013-07-04 12.52.30

10) Remember that supplementing with formula is not a failure

This was such a tough one for me. In the early days, I actually HID those 2oz bottles of newborn formula in the drawer of my nightstand. If I ended up using one in the night, I’d bury it in the trash so no one would know that I had failed to make enough milk.

For some reason I thought if I supplemented, I was no longer getting that invisible gold star for breastfeeding twins.

This kind of stress is not going to help you make more milk. Conversely, letting yourself sit one nursing session out could be the ticket to increasing your supply. Especially if you spend that time meditating at the pump. (I know that’s brutal. But at least it’s nice and quiet in your room, right? Hopefully?)

That’s it. Now go get something to eat, mama!

Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. But it came with so many gifts.

My twin pregnancy was the biggest physical challenge of my life.

The unexpected gift: As it turns out, my body is stronger than I ever imagined. So much stronger than my mind.

I carried my twins to 36 weeks gestation. They weighed six pounds each. And both of them came home from the hospital with us five days after they were born.

Bonus: My mom felt so bad for me she spent months at our house last year. This woman has three children and two step-children. Nothing phases her.

not afraid

I spent all of 2013 either pregnant with twins or with newborn twins.

Which meant my brain was worthless.

My short term memory? Obliterated.

I couldn’t even remember my newborn son’s name in the hospital when the nurses asked me. On multiple occasions.

atlas not his name

The unexpected gift: It forced me to release the goals I set up for my business and ignore the dirty kitchen floor while I spent most afternoons unconscious in my bed.

Note to pregnant twin moms: I promise you it’s easier to have newborns than it is to be pregnant with twins. You are experiencing the worst right this minute. It will get better. Especially after the first four weeks, which are so brutal you won’t remember them anyway.

I feel like my preschoolers were cheated out of a whole year with me.

The unexpected gift: Even though I spent every afternoon in bed, they probably saw a lot more of me than they did when I was working. And just like when I was a working mom, when I showed up for dinnertime, bath time and bedtime, I was all there. Even if I couldn’t get my belly to fit on my son’s bottom bunk for storytime.

Also, I think they’re handling it all okay.

happy boys

We were crazy stressed in the financial arena.

Providing for a family of six, plus our beloved 22-year-old au pair, is no small responsibility for my husband. When we go food shopping, we buy four loaves of bread at at time. Every trip to the grocery runs at least $300, even when we’re trying to be careful.

A trip to the pediatrician to get the twins’ ears checked for infections runs $70. We have one child in preschool, which costs more than my first year at Florida State. Even buying socks for all these kids is expensive!

The unexpected gift: We are blown away by the kindness of our friends and neighbors. We are constantly on the receiving end of bags of clothing and toys, even for our older kids. And even better is the feeling of passing these gifts on to other families when we our children no longer need them.

Another unexpected gift is that I’m dipping my toe back into work this year. Which means I get to hang out here.

EATagency hq

I’m sure I could go on, but I’m ready to MOVE ON.

Here’s to 2014. Let’s do it.