The twins turned 9 months old this week. Nine months! Which made me realize I forgot to celebrate their “inside out” day, which would have been last month since they were born at 36 weeks. Whoops.

(Happy inside out day, twinzers!)

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While the twins were busy enjoying their inside out day plus a month, I somehow I went back to work without even planning on going back to work. At least not exactly.

But it felt good, really good. And it turns out I still know some stuff.

(See? Don’t I look like I know some stuff?)

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After putting in a full week of work — my first and only full week of work in probably a year and a half — I found myself thinking, “I missed out on my babies’ entire childhood. I haven’t been there. I never play with them. I never see them.”

And then I remembered that this was my very first week back to work, and that my twins are 9 months old, and that some heroic moms have been working since their little ones were 6 or 8 or 12 weeks old. And those moms are still in it and and there and completely connected and tuned in to their children. Just like I was with my first two.

And then I took a breath and remembered one of life’s most important lessons:

The mind is not to be trusted.

Meanwhile I also somehow booked myself a trip to Florida, along with our 1,000 children and beloved au pair. But not my husband. He has to stay home and work work work so the rest of us can eat.

We leave the week after next and I can’t wait to see what kind of adventure we have getting 2 babies and 2 little kids out of the NY tundra and down to the promised land of double-laned fast food drive throughs, super Targets and, most importantly, my parent’s driveway where one can ride a bike from sunrise to sunset and only break for popsicles.

(Was this really only a year ago??)




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I want to talk more about this working mom guilt business, but for now, let’s just look forward to our mid-winter breaks, shall we?


3 Comments on Missed anniversaries, Working mom guilt, and escapes to Florida

  1. Nina Max says:

    If it makes you feel any better, this is the first I’ve ever heard of an inside out day. After 6+ years of motherhood! The things I’m feeling guilty about lately are leaving my 9 week old in his crib while he’s awake, even though he seems perfectly content. Shouldn’t I be interacting with him every waking moment? Also, facebooking on my iphone while I nurse. Shouldn’t I be more present? Gazing down at him lovingly and absorbing every moment? Am I giving him a brain tumor?

  2. Britta,
    That subject, the working /motherhood one, is a “thing” for me. With my first, I was anxiously in need of productivity to quell my fear of incapability, both as a mother and creative person. Now, at 47, with an 11 month old, I realize she and I are both priorities. When I’m with her, I’m fully present. When I’m writing, I’m there for me. I feel no guilt, as both her and my needs are taken care of. Our children can’t be our sole reason to either love or dislike ourselves. They need us to be happy while they move on to their job of leaving us.

  3. Sarah says:

    Congrats on returning to work, mama!! I’m quite sure your kids will still remember you. 🙂 Have a blast in sunny FL!

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