I am going to start Clomid today.

I have resisted pumping my body with infertility drugs for as long as I can. The truth is, while I’ve been on my au naturale/Eastern medicine kick, three of my friends popped a few pills and now they’re pushing Bugaboos around New York City. Hey, maybe there is something to be said for the wonders of modern medicine. 

So here goes nothing. Maybe there’s a chance I can still get pregnant before my 32nd birthday.

These are the things I have done so far to get pregnant: 

  • Had 4 years of conception sex with my husband (the kind that’s not very fun)
  • Stuck a thermometer in my mouth every morning and scribbled my temp in the dark
  • Visited a gyn who took blood tests to measure my hormone levels (she said they were normal). Didn’t return after her counter girl called me “infertile.”
  • Visited another gyn, who sent me out for an HSG to see if fallopian tubes were open (they were).
  • Took gyn’s referral and went to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) who took about four pounds of blood from my body for various testing (or perhaps he sells it on eBay). Tests came back normal, although he did agree with my own assessment that my luteal phase is too short (thanks to my obsessive reading of the only decent book on infertility, Toni Weschler’s Taking Charge of Your Fertility).
  • Forced husband to have semen tested. Twice. (Which he proceeded to blog about in detail, as referenced by my grandmother over Thanksgiving dinner.)
  • Practiced yoga at least one time a week for stress reduction.
  • Received four months of acupuncture and Chinese herbs.
  • Peed on a stick every morning and inserted it into a $250 poorly-designed piece of plastic to track my most fertile days of the month.
  • Used PreSeed during intercourse to give sperm a Slip-n-Slide quality lift up the canal.
  • Took more Chinese herbs for one month (the kind you boil that tastes so bad you think your tongue is going to suffer permanent damage).
  • Read every book and website on infertility.
  • Had two visits with NYC miracle acupuncturist.
  • Took more super duper Chinese herbs from above acupuncturist.
  • Quit job.
  • Started a business, which I initially ran from my home office.

Things I probably should do:

  • Quit coffee
  • Quit my nightly 1-2 glasses of wine
  • Take up meditation