Inspiration

Instead of making a list of resolutions last year, my husband and I each came up with an intention for the new year. Mine was “find my focus and own it.”

Little did I know on January 2011 that over the course of the year, my focus would reveal itself as my children instead of the boutique agency I’ve run with my husband for the past 5 years.

On November 1, 2011, I changed my title from President to Founding Partner, Special Projects and started working 1 day a week instead of 4.

That’s the funny thing about intentions.

Unlike strict resolutions where the outcome is pre-determined, intentions remind us to be open to possibilities we hadn’t even considered.

For 2012, my intention is Choose Joy.

I’ve spent too many moments over my past three years as a mother flustered, frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, and spun around from the volume and chaos that comes with having two very young children. (Especially when you are a highly sensitive person like me.)

For example:

Over the holiday, I was putting groceries in the car in a rushed panic. The boys were both whining/demanding something of immediate importance, another car was waiting for my spot, it was freezing.

Once I got the boys strapped into their chairs, I finished loading the grocery bags and stopped for a second. “It’s the holidays. This is supposed to be fun,” I thought.

After the liftgate closed (effectively silencing the boys’ protests), I took a few deep breaths and felt the chaos dissipate. I entered that car as a whole new person.

That moment, shopping at our beautiful new Whole Foods buying special holiday treats, was a recipe for joy. Instead of letting the joy get derailed by normal life with toddlers, I claimed it back. 

That’s what I want to create more of this year. In a million different ways.

What is your word for 2012?

And if you have any luscious quiet time today, check out this fantastic list of 20 questions for reflecting on your 2011 from Simple Mom.

xo

image credit

I recently participated in something called the Holiday Joy UP. It was essentially a 10-day online retreat for women interested in tapping in to the joy and magic of the holiday season.

Led by the lovely Hannah Marcotti (whose writing I cannot get enough of), the Joy UP delivered a letter each day which explored a particular aspect of joy, along with a video from Hannah and the day’s assignment.

So for instance, one day we focused on Blessings, and the assignment was to be a blessing fairy–spreading little gifts or acts of kindness everywhere we went. (I’m still trying to practice being a blessing fairy in the high-strung parking lots around town.)

So many years I’ve longed to feel the holiday magic I felt as a kid.

I’d go to the mall just to try to get “in the mood.” This only made me feel worse.

I’d indulge in holiday treats. This only made me feel groggy.

I’d overspend on gifts, panicked that there wasn’t enough under the tree. This made my stomach hurt.

Having children of my own has helped bring back the excitement of the holidays.

We have our holiday channel on Pandora, our Advent activity calendar, our Elf on the Shelf.

But much of that is superficial “busyness”

Making cookies, opening early presents (holiday books or jammies), watching more TV than normal in the name of holiday fun, being more lax about sugary treats.

So while I started the Holiday joy UP thinking I was already full-on in the spirit of Chirstmas, having an opportunity to create a quiet space each day just to think about Joy from different angles actually left me a bit blue at first. As it turns out, pursuing joy can be hard work!

Getting quiet

The best part of the Joy UP was having an hour of focused quiet time each day (I did it during our mandatory 1-hour naptime/quiet time where everyone goes to their own room even if they no longer nap). Each day, I was able to open my Joy UP “letter”, watch Hannah’s video, and think/write about the day’s assignment.

The Holiday Joy UP helped me think about my intention for the holiday season. And it left me with a deeper connection to joy, along with the clarity that there’s a lot more to be explored.

Joy is Unfolding

Joy is Spirit

Joy is Blessings

Joy is Love

Joy is Desire

Joy is Faith

Joy is Magic

Joy is Celebration

Joy is Peace

Joy is our Gratitude

Thanks to Hannahfor this wonderful journey.

If you are interested in doing something similar, here’s where Hannah posts upcoming programs. I’m looking forward to her 2012 Making Space Cleanse.

(By the way, this is not a sponsored post.)

 

It was raining. I was in the city with the boys.

Anxiety was creeping in, along with a sadness I couldn’t wrap my head around.

“Walk,” my body said. And so I did.

I covered the double stroller with the rain shield and walked up, up, up the city streets until I reached this.

Her.

Right there in the center of the holiday bustle.

Tourists shoved their way past her to see the big tree, the ice skaters.

Basking in light from the fancy shops, the promenade angels.

Open and proud and calm, and weeping.

A steady presence.

Abiding joy.

My hero.

 

Time/Day: 4pm on a Friday afternoon

Go ahead and laugh: I did when I first saw the 2-seater cart at Costco. Clearly that was before I had kids.

The good news is: My boys are finally old enough that I can take them both to Costco–Costco!–at the very same time.

Most unexpected part of our trip: It was fun (!)